One of my motto’s in life is that if you’re not happy with things as they are, either make a change or find a way to be happy with it as is.
Don’t live your life complaining about how things are, and make no changes to your life. That’s pointless, and annoying to others around you.
I realised it years ago when myself and one of my friends were complaining about our situations, and I realised we were still complaining about the same things as the year before. I decided what was the point. I thought about it, and decided that I wasn’t going to make any changes (ie move town or change relationship etc), so therefore to make myself happy with things the way they were. So I did.
I’ve started reading a book this week (Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes) and at the start of it, the woman speaking says that she’s married to a professor of happiness (a job I’d love!!) and that basically our levels of happiness are down to our Expections divided by our Reality. And to change our level of happiness, either change your expectations or your reality. Which is basically the realisation I had a decade ago.
It is not neccessarily that you need to lower your expectations, but just change them. If something is realistically not going to happen in your current situation, and there is no way you can change it, change when you want it to happen or how it will happen. On a really superficial level, if you want to go on a ski holiday, but you’re a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom!), not enough spare finances and a 5.5month old baby, then the reality is that you’re not going to be going on a ski holiday this year or next year. So instead of wishing constantly you could go, then plan to go in five years, and look at how you can financially plan for it (ie if holiday is going to cost 5,000 in five years, then it’ll be only 20e a week for the next five years). Now your expectations have been managed, and you actually have a plan of how you can turn the plan into a reality.
On the more difficult side of it, if you hate the town you live in or your family members, they’re not as easy to make a plan to change even down the line. But you can think of different ways to change your expectations and reality, so instead look at the positives of the town you live in and only focus on them. Make a plan as to how to either distance yourself from your family members or find more positive ways to interact with them. Do something about it though is the point, don’t just continue on as you are. If you continue doing the same thing, you will end up with the same result. If you want to be happier with your life, you need to manage your expectations vs. your realities.