Little Quirks

We all have funny little quirks about us, which we may like or not like.

What I am finding lovely is seeing some of these in my kids, because I passed them straight to them. Physical ones.

My thumbs bend back a bit, unlike my mums thumb which is beautiful and straight and looks so elegant compared to mine. I never really liked my thumbs. But now when I’m feeding the baby, and she is holding my thumb with her little hand wrapped around with the very same little thumb as mine, just in miniature version, I’m in love with my thumb – because its my babys thumb too. And all my children have it I think (will have to double check the older two, but definitely the younger two do!)

And the nail on my second toe also is different to all my other nails. If it gets too long, it curls back in towards my toe, instead of growing straight out like the rest of them. All my kids have the same, on their second toe, the nail bends in to the toe if it gets too long.

I just love it. I know there is similiarities in looks and all other aspects too, but these little quirks are things other people wouldn’t know about or notice, and I just think it is so special.

My Body is Complaining

Back on track yesterday. Got my little walk up to the preschool in during the afternoon, and then forced myself to go out on the treadmill last night.

I’ve noticed that my heart rate isn’t going up much with my walking on the treadmill at the speed I’m doing, but my shins and knees start to hurt if I increase the speed. And I don’t want to damage myself and not be able to do any of it, so I’m staying at the slower speed. But then the heart rate is not increasing, so is it doing any good for weight loss? It is barely going in to “Fat Burn” heart rate, let alone “Cardio” heart rate – which three weeks ago it was going into.

By the time I finished my walk on the treadmill last night, my knee was killing me. I started poking at the ass/hip/glute/thigh area on that leg, and the pain in the muscle was bad, so I think the knee pain might be coming from there.  I know the physio’s have always said that my muscles are very tight. It was so sore coming in, I could barely lift that leg up. I did a bit of my physio exercises when I came in, and some stretching and some pressure pointing with a tennis ball too, and it eased up a bit.

I woke up this morning very stiff and sore, but hoping that it is going to get better. I walked up the preschool again this afternoon, and was a little early so passed it and added a little bit to the walk (it’s a beautiful bright fresh day out there so it was lovely!), but my knee started hurting me again to put pressure on it. I’m very worried about my body and trying to do this exercise and weight loss the right way, and strengthen my body and not end up hurting myself and being out of action.

March – My Month of Gratitude!

I love gratitude, and giving thanks for all that we have, but as with everything I have great intentions and very little follow through.  I have bought gratitude journals, diaries, tried starting a tradition of writing what we are grateful/thankful for with the kids every night, so many different ways I have tried to incorporate it into our lives. But I usually realise weeks later, oh we haven’t done that in a while.

So I was thinking about it last night and I have decided that I am going to make March my month of Gratitude – and I am going to post daily here, to make myself accountable.

The first ten days or so will be very easy, all the basics that I rattle off every time I think of what I am grateful for – and then things might become more interesting or unusual. I don’t think that I will ever be stuck for anything to be grateful for even on Day 31, because I notice the smallest things to be grateful for. But we’ll see! 🙂

Fell off the wagon last week, again

So, I was doing great last week. Monday and Tuesday were great days, foodwise and exercise. Wednesday started the birthday celebrations for my daughter, with my mum bringing cake and goodies but still I managed to just have a small bit of cake, and stay within calories.

Thursday started the birthday party prep, and was all go, and I didn’t get exercise or regular meals (it also was the first day of the kids midterm so there was no routine at all!) but still was reasonably ok with my eating. Then Friday was party day, and that was that. I ate all around me. I picked at food, I picked at cake. No exercise either. And was so tired from all the preparation and planning, that we got a Chinese for dinner. Then yesterday (Saturday) was another cake party for family this time, and again I didn’t have a stop-eating switch, and then finished the day up with a chippers. And a promise to myself that that was the end. Back on track this morning.

For some reason that didn’t happen. Possibly because I started the day with coco-pops (we never have them, they’re a birthday treat) or possibly because I didn’t have a proper lunch, or a proper dinner plan… but whatever happened, it got to a certain stage of the day and I started eating chocolate and sugar, and I couldn’t stop. I ate everything I could find. And that’s not an exaggeration. Unfortunately. I was almost inhaling chocolate and biscuits, and it was as though I couldn’t stop myself. I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t, that I didn’t need it, that I’d regret it, but it made no difference, I just kept eating and trying to find the next thing to eat. Until my husband got home, and we put on some food (he had a plan of some snack type bits he had bought in the shop today which is why I was waiting for him).

Of course I’m annoyed with myself now. Well disgusted really. But let’s say annoyed.

But it is done now. All I can do is do better moving forward. I need to get back on track (AGAIN) tomorrow. I need to start exercising properly again. I need to plan my lunches and dinners. I need to make sure I don’t get hungry. I need to be more organised. I need to put myself first, making sure I have healthy food first, and then feed everyone else if that is what happens.

Planning is key here, it shows. Plan my meals and my exercise. And make sure to prioritise them, for myself. And get myself back on track, again. Roll on tomorrow, back on track day 1, again.

Stuff Everywhere…

I just don’t know what to do with it. There seems to be piles of stuff everywhere. When I clean/clear one area, the mess is just moved elsewhere.

We’ve just had a weekend (almost week lol) of celebrating for Little Miss Biz’s 5th birthday. We had a little party with her friends here on Friday and then her family on Saturday for cake and tea. So obviously we needed the place looking nice on Friday, and having space for everyone.

One of the counters in the kitchen, which really should have nothing on it other than the radio anyway (and I always put the desserts and cake on it for occassions), tends to be a clutter catch area so I cleared it – into a big shopping bag. And then hid that in the washing machine room. That sorted that, for the weekend. Now though, I need to do something about it.

There were boxes in the sitting room (happen to be a kettle and toaster for when our new tiles go up in the kitchen, if that ever happens lol, I have the tiles two years now!) – but I cleared them from the sitting room. Into the hall. So now they need to be rehomed, and actually neither place is where they should be. What that means though is that they’ll be moved up to our room. To be stored until needed. As everything else in the house is. Hence why the room is almost impossible to get across at the moment, particularly as the baby sleeps in our room still too – so any time I might have to sort it out, ie when she is asleep, I can’t actually do it, because she is asleep in that room.

I am hoping now to work on continuing to have the downstairs “look” clear and tidy, and improve it more and maybe make it a reality. But it seems to be that the crap is just moved from one place to the next, and the sitting room is lovely and clear but when you step out into the hall and trip over something else. It is head-wrecking.

I know I have to get rid of stuff and make sure everything we do want has a home. But there is so little time that it is hard to do. And then Christmas and birthday add to the possessions and take from the available time too.

Oh well. Just a rant really. But the positive is that my downstairs looks relatively tidy, and that makes me happy. And reminds me to put more effort into keeping it like this, to make me happier!

(And its funny, in the kitchen that one clutter catching counter that I emptied into the bag was the only untidy place in the kitchen because I have been keeping on top of it, but it has made a huge difference, so just goes to show how little areas and details in a room can make a huge difference to the flow, and feeling of the whole room!)

Joined Instagram

I have been on Facebook for years, but I kind of put my foot down and said no that’s too addictive as it is, I’m not joining other social medias. So no Twitter, no Instagram.

Then a few months ago, my sister-in-law was telling me how great this cleaning woman was on Instagram, so I joined. Followed a few cleaning sites. Didn’t really like anything they were doing, so never looked again.

Then a few weeks ago, the same sister-in-law told me about this really inspiring woman losing weight and was amazing to watch. So I started Instagram up again, unfollowed any of the people I wasn’t interested in. And followed the inspirational woman (Trisha’s Transformation in case you’re interested) – and yes she is amazing. Every single time I opened Instagram and saw her posts, she motivated me to exercise, or just stay on plan. She has lost so much weight and still has loads to go, but she is working so hard and is so bloody positive and motivated. She is inspiring.

So I decided that that was what my Instagram would be about, people or pages that I’m interested in and make me feel good and inspire me. I followed a few positive law of attraction type pages, and some planner hashtags, and a few other recommended weight loss journeys that people found great or had recipes.

Then I assessed how I felt about each of the pages that I had followed, and when they were in my feed. And so I unfollowed quite a few. For weight inspiration/motivation/ideas I’m left with Trisha’s Transformation, Joe Wicks Bodycoach and Karl Henry PT. I love the law of attraction quotes (although I did unfollow a few who seemed to take a negative slant towards other people). I still have two housecleaning type pages, that I’ve actually followed for years, through their blogs originally and using their print outs. Then last night I found some motivating money management pages, so I’m working out which ones I like enough to keep. Its not that the pages aren’t great, it’s more that it is not relevant to me, or motivating for me.

I am loving the fact that when I open Instagram I am given a boost of love, motivation and inspiration.

Don’t you just feel helpless

Poor babies and all they go through.

Last night we had a very bad time with our little one. She’s 1 year old now, and the past week has been teething badly, drooling galloons of spit everywhere. And the night before last she was up in the middle of the night upset, so last night going to bed I gave her Nurofen and Paralink, staggered before bedtime, to hopefully ease her pain for the night because she had been getting one of them the previous few nights and she was still upset.

When we went up to bed, she was awake. I tried to put her back down to sleep, like usual and when that didn’t work, tried her with a bottle, which she had no interest in. So I tried to leave her settle when I got into bed, beside her cot.

Then all hell broke loose. Was not a hope of her settling. She was so so upset. Absolutely inconsolable. I took her out and tried her with the bottle, cuddled her up in bed, rocked her, sang songs, rubbed her. Everything and anything I could think of, I tried. It didn’t help. Daddy tried all his usual tricks with her too, and nothing helped. She was so upset. She would keep falling asleep, at different stages – and then starting to scream in her sleep, and thrash around. And because she had had both painkillers, there was nothing else we could do. Just felt so helpless. This little person, so upset, not able to do anything much to help herself – and yet there was nothing else we could do for her.

I thought it might have been something else underlying, as she was so upset, so thought it would either be a middle of the night trip to the out of hours doctor, or a trip this morning – but after a few hours, she slept, and stayed asleep. And today she was cranky at times, but overall just a normal teething one year old.

Fingers crossed for tonight. Very worried about how it will all go. I do love, and need, my sleep. But more so for her, it is so hard seeing your baby so unsettled, sad and in pain. So fingers and toes crossed for a good night for us all xx

Back on Track, Day 1

Yesterday was my kick-up-the-ass day when I checked my weight and was up 4lbs since last Wednesday, 5 days.

I had had a terrible week food and exercise wise, and that weight gain gave me the kick. Yesterday I was getting back on track. So my food was great, I made better choices. I did eat a mini dark chocolate bar while making dinner (always a bad time for picking for me) but seeing as I hadn’t had my usual after school tea and biscuit bar treat, it was ok. I just replaced that for that instead.

I had decided to try to go on the treadmill for some energy after the school pick up instead of the usual tea and biscuit bar, and while it worked and I enjoyed it, I obviously still wanted something nice. The dark chocolate bar wasn’t what I wanted, because after I finished it, I still wanted the biscuit bar – but I decided that I would plan to have it with a cup of tea that night watching tv, and that I’d wait until then.

I walked up for the preschool pickup and took a short walk on the treadmill after school pickup so I did a decent amount of steps, but my shin was starting to get sore. I have to be careful not to get shin splints, because once they get bad I have to stop walking. My knees are also niggling at me this week, which I’m a little bit worried about, but hoping that seeing as I’m not doing anything too stenuous that they will be ok.

So today is day 2, and going to make sure today is another good day!

Weight Loss

I don’t think that I’ve mentioned weight loss here, except in passing. But it is a huge part of my life at the moment.

The baby is a year old. When I got pregnant with her I had just joined Slimming World to try lose weight, I was at my heaviest. 15st 6lbs I think. I found out I was pregnant, and stopped Slimming World. After I had the baby I was 15st 9lbs. So I had barely put on any weight during the pregnancy, which I was delighted at. I had tried to be good during the pregnancy.

However instead of starting to lose weight then, I managed to put on weight, even though I was so conscious of it and wanted to lose weight. Instead I gained a stone more. At the end of August 2018, I was weighing at 16stone 6.75lbs (230.75lbs).

I decided I had better do something, and I got my head in the game, and started tracking my calories in myfitnesspal and trying to get more steps in. I cut out mindless eating, and planned to have my treats. I’m never going to give up chocolate, so I allowed a little bar or two a day. And I controlled my eating, and I lost weight.

By Christmas, I was down almost a stone and a half. I didn’t go crazy over Christmas and I didn’t put on too much weight, just a few pounds up. So then mid-January I got my head back in the game, and I had had my surgery on my leg then too and I HAVE to do three little walks a day. So for the last month I have done great, I lost a bit more (I did feel it should have been more because I thought I was doing really well but was barely losing) but I went past the stone and a half mark lost.

Then last week I fell off the wagon. I ate a full packet of mini-Kinder bars. Almost a 1000 calories, in an hour. And then I just kept going. The next day was Valentines Day and I ate buns and bread and loads of nice things. And basically the rest of the week wasn’t great, eating wise. And worse for walking. I literally didn’t go on the treadmill all week, and I only walked up to get my pre-schooler one day. So my steps are down loads.

And this morning I weighed. Its not my official weigh day. But I wanted to see. And I was up. Up 4lbs. In 5 days. I am gutted.

I had a stone and a half lost, but I still have three and a half stone to go, to even be in a “healthy weight” bracket. So I need to keep at it. I need to keep motivated, and I need to keep losing. Gaining is not ok.

Also it is less than 6wks now until my eldest daughters Confirmation, and I want to feel nice at it, in a nice dress.

So today is back on track. And this week is going to be a good one. I am going to get my walks and my steps in, I’m going to drink my water and I am going to eat healthily.


Little people are amazing!

It’s amazing watching a little person learn about the world. We forget they have to learn everything from scratch.

I’m sitting here watching my one year old daughter potter around the sitting room here, exploring everything. And she has just seen the laptop over, grabbed a handful of the side of the laptop and squished a whole load of keys, putting on caps lock.

There’s a box of capri-sun juices that my husband took out of the car earlier, and she keeps taking them out, squeezing and biting them, and then putting them back into the box. And there’s an empty laundry basket on the floor, and I put her in it to see what she thought. She climbed out. And then back in. And then out. And in. With help from me each time, obviously. And then decided to throw in the capri-sun’s and then climb in. And throw them out again and then followed them out. And that was the new game for a while.

She then decided to pull down one of the older kids boxes of markers off the shelf, and I took them off her and clipped up the box. Of course she wanted them back. She wanted to carry them on her arm, so found a way to stick her hand through the handle and push them up her arm. Amazing watching her try to figure it all out.

She was also going from one press to another, opening the press doors and closing them, pulling down things off the counter, pulling the lid off a box and trying to work out how to take everything out of it, pulling at the packet of nappies, playing with a (clean) nappy opening it, dragging the laundry basket around and then pushing it in front of her. Just exploring everything.

It is hard with number 4 to have time to watch her, or to enjoy the little things with her. There is just not enough time to watch her and to take in all the little things. But watching her tonight, when she was downstairs on her own with me, and just going from one thing to another and I saw all the different little things she was trying to do, it just reminded me how amazing babies are and how much they learn and how quickly! Just amazing!