Different Stages of Life in Friendships

Yesterday I spent the day with friends that I would count as very good friends, who I have been friends with for over 20 years, but don’t see that much of and who aren’t very good at keeping in touch by text etc.

I have lots of friends like this, and usually when we meet up it is just like normal, we slip into catching up all our info and I come away feeling fresh and revitalised and happy.

Yesterday, I think maybe it was the dynamics of meeting more than one friend together, and they are all in close contact a lot – and so instead of feeling anything positive, I felt left out, unwanted or cared about and not important to any of them.

I realised that they make plans together and do things often, and I understand I have a baby and they don’t so I don’t mind that, although maybe the odd invite would be nice – but they probably think I wouldn’t join anyway. I also realised that one of them seems to hooked up with someone she was friends with, so I would have thought it was a significant enough piece of info and if she valued me as a friend, she might have just dropped me a text after it had been going on a while to say “hey guess what” seeing as I was around for a lot of their friendship etc, and I just would have thought if she thought of me as a close friend, thats what she would have done

So I came home upset. Very upset. I think my husband firstly thought that it was because my life is nowhere near as exciting as theirs (I found out one is off to London next month and one to Paris, and then their hols later in the year are Florida, so yes he would be right to think it might be that) but they also all work, whereas I’m a stay at home mum, so that would have been a mini-jealousy upset that I could deal with logically. This upset has actually hurt me badly, and I realised that I should probably step back further from them (its not like I am in touch much, so not exactly hard!) but its upsetting because when my kids list my closest friends, these two would be right up on top of the list.

It is difficult when you have certain feelings of the importance of a friendship, and then realise that they rank the friendship differently.

I’m in a bit of a negative funk at the moment, my mind is spiralling around negatively at the moment – and I really really need to bring it around to a positive spin and positive attitude. So that is what I am going to work on this week. Self care for my mental health!

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Day 1 Small Step Success!

So I did it. My small step for yesterday was to drink at least 2 litres of water, which I know shouldn’t be a difficult thing, and it used not to be – but recently I just haven’t managed it!

But yesterday I made myself stay accountable, and I did it! So I easily got over 2 litres of water in, and was delighted that I was able to go to bed without trying to drink pints and pints of water first!

So the goal is to do the same again today!

Starting Small…

Today’s Goal is to drink water. At least 2 litres of water. Should be easy enough to do it. And when I am on track I have no problem drinking over 2 litres, but at the moment I’m struggling to remember to even drink 1 pint. Until bedtime, and then I realise I haven’t had any water – so I drink a pint of water…. and three hours later I’m waking up for a toilet trip! Not a good plan!

So starting small, todays goal is 2l of water. I’ve 1 pint in already, so I’m one quarter of the way there, if I can just remember the rest!

Back to Reality!

So, the Communion weekend is over, and the kids have all gone back to school and it is back to normal routine!

So this morning I cleared over the kitchen during the baby’s naptime, and then I sat down to my to-do lists, now that I can focus on what needs to be done and not have the functions hanging over me.

Of course, first thing I realise is that I am now late with my Dads accounts, and another return is due already. So that is a priority for the list – and that will take probably a full week at least. But it needs to be done. And then of course, there is a whole load of other little bits and pieces of jobs that need to be got on top of, as they’ve slipped over the last few months between the Confirmation and the Communion. And of course, the healthy habits that I am supposed to have started need to be implemented!

So I’m hoping that I can get Dads accounts done this week, and then next week can start working on my own stuff! Of course, my own stuff might distract me from Dad’s stuff this week and it all get dragged out a bit! We’ll have to wait and see lol! 🙂

Nearly The End of April

So two days left in April, and I can say for one I do not know where this month has gone. I didn’t manage to get any of the things that I wanted to get done done. I didn’t restart my healthy habits. And instead of my body getting fitter, it has gotten stiffer. A direct result I assume of less exercise. Also my mood has been lower than the past few months, so I think it definitely shows how important the exercise is to me.

I did go out on the treadmill last night (my husband is trying to push me) but after 20 minutes something happened my leg and I couldn’t put weight on it. And still today I can’t put weight on it, with the pain radiating between my knee and my thigh/hip area. So I’m hoping it will be gone later today, otherwise I am going to be very slowed down this week! And I really need to be on the ball this week.

This is the countdown to My Boy’s Communion! The Communion itself is on Saturday and we are having a party here, and as of last week I decided to do something I have never done before – I am getting it catered! I realised I was so stressed and unorganised and I just wouldn’t enjoy the day, so instead of trying to cook all the food, I am getting caterers to just drop it in and that will be that. I will still have to do all the desserts, but that is not a worry. The food was.

And then on Sunday we are having a second party out in my Dad’s house, and my brother is catering that, so I have very little to do for that either. I have delegated everything to do with the Sunday party, I basically just have to turn up! And my husband did a lot of work just straightening up the garden here over the weekend for the bouncy castle to fit, so we have to get desserts made this week – and SCRUB the house!!! So a lot of work, but at least the huge stress of the food has been taken off me. The relief. Still a few bits of clothes to be picked up, but basically we are sorted!

And then after it is over, I will be back on track – I have no more excuses, the next mini goal is my birthday in June, about 6wks after the Communion. So hopefully I’ll be able to make a good dent in the weight and fitness by my birthday. I have done a lot so far, and even though I haven’t been great recently, I have to focus on how great I have done – and use that to encourage me to continue and do even better!

The Tween Encourages!

I have been so bad at getting myself motivated the past few weeks to do any sort of exercise and last night my husband asked was I going out on the treadmill and I said no I’m not bothered, it was late. My husband was like thats not the attitude to have. And my eldest daughter (12.5yrs old!) said think about that smaller dress you want to get in to for the Communion in 4 weeks time. I said it’s only one week and a few days away, I won’t be getting into the smaller dress at this stage.  Then she said, well think about still being here and alive in ten years.

And thats the truth of it. That is the reason I am doing this – not to fit into smaller clothes, which of course is a part of it. But the main thing is for my health and my future. I either do something about it and lose the weight and get fitter, or I keep getting bigger and unhealthier and start having health issues.

So I went out on the treadmill. Thank you very much Q!

This Months Goal Not Going So Well!

So this month is supposed to be about healthy habits and setting them up in sustainable ways in my life.

But I am not doing too well on that front. I have kind of fallen off the wagon in most ways – I have not been tracking my food or choosing the best food choices either, I have not been getting out on the treadmill much, I have not been drinking anywhere near enough water, I have not been getting early nights (now this week I am getting lie ins in the morning though so I am getting enough sleep, just the wrong way around!) and so on.

However, for some reason I seem to actually have lost some weight over the past three weeks even though I barely lost a pound in the two months before that when I was being really good at all the healthy habits! I’m going to say it was all my hard work paying off!

There have been a few changes and events that have happened recently, and they have taken all my time and concentration (hence also not getting on here to post much either!) and now the kids are off on Easter holidays! It is busy, so I need to get myself more organised and climb back on the wagon and pick up some motivation and get going again!

Hopefully my next post will be full of how back on track I have been!! 🙂