Different Stages of Life in Friendships

Yesterday I spent the day with friends that I would count as very good friends, who I have been friends with for over 20 years, but don’t see that much of and who aren’t very good at keeping in touch by text etc.

I have lots of friends like this, and usually when we meet up it is just like normal, we slip into catching up all our info and I come away feeling fresh and revitalised and happy.

Yesterday, I think maybe it was the dynamics of meeting more than one friend together, and they are all in close contact a lot – and so instead of feeling anything positive, I felt left out, unwanted or cared about and not important to any of them.

I realised that they make plans together and do things often, and I understand I have a baby and they don’t so I don’t mind that, although maybe the odd invite would be nice – but they probably think I wouldn’t join anyway. I also realised that one of them seems to hooked up with someone she was friends with, so I would have thought it was a significant enough piece of info and if she valued me as a friend, she might have just dropped me a text after it had been going on a while to say “hey guess what” seeing as I was around for a lot of their friendship etc, and I just would have thought if she thought of me as a close friend, thats what she would have done

So I came home upset. Very upset. I think my husband firstly thought that it was because my life is nowhere near as exciting as theirs (I found out one is off to London next month and one to Paris, and then their hols later in the year are Florida, so yes he would be right to think it might be that) but they also all work, whereas I’m a stay at home mum, so that would have been a mini-jealousy upset that I could deal with logically. This upset has actually hurt me badly, and I realised that I should probably step back further from them (its not like I am in touch much, so not exactly hard!) but its upsetting because when my kids list my closest friends, these two would be right up on top of the list.

It is difficult when you have certain feelings of the importance of a friendship, and then realise that they rank the friendship differently.

I’m in a bit of a negative funk at the moment, my mind is spiralling around negatively at the moment – and I really really need to bring it around to a positive spin and positive attitude. So that is what I am going to work on this week. Self care for my mental health!

This Months Goal Not Going So Well!

So this month is supposed to be about healthy habits and setting them up in sustainable ways in my life.

But I am not doing too well on that front. I have kind of fallen off the wagon in most ways – I have not been tracking my food or choosing the best food choices either, I have not been getting out on the treadmill much, I have not been drinking anywhere near enough water, I have not been getting early nights (now this week I am getting lie ins in the morning though so I am getting enough sleep, just the wrong way around!) and so on.

However, for some reason I seem to actually have lost some weight over the past three weeks even though I barely lost a pound in the two months before that when I was being really good at all the healthy habits! I’m going to say it was all my hard work paying off!

There have been a few changes and events that have happened recently, and they have taken all my time and concentration (hence also not getting on here to post much either!) and now the kids are off on Easter holidays! It is busy, so I need to get myself more organised and climb back on the wagon and pick up some motivation and get going again!

Hopefully my next post will be full of how back on track I have been!! 🙂

Fell off the wagon last week, again

So, I was doing great last week. Monday and Tuesday were great days, foodwise and exercise. Wednesday started the birthday celebrations for my daughter, with my mum bringing cake and goodies but still I managed to just have a small bit of cake, and stay within calories.

Thursday started the birthday party prep, and was all go, and I didn’t get exercise or regular meals (it also was the first day of the kids midterm so there was no routine at all!) but still was reasonably ok with my eating. Then Friday was party day, and that was that. I ate all around me. I picked at food, I picked at cake. No exercise either. And was so tired from all the preparation and planning, that we got a Chinese for dinner. Then yesterday (Saturday) was another cake party for family this time, and again I didn’t have a stop-eating switch, and then finished the day up with a chippers. And a promise to myself that that was the end. Back on track this morning.

For some reason that didn’t happen. Possibly because I started the day with coco-pops (we never have them, they’re a birthday treat) or possibly because I didn’t have a proper lunch, or a proper dinner plan… but whatever happened, it got to a certain stage of the day and I started eating chocolate and sugar, and I couldn’t stop. I ate everything I could find. And that’s not an exaggeration. Unfortunately. I was almost inhaling chocolate and biscuits, and it was as though I couldn’t stop myself. I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t, that I didn’t need it, that I’d regret it, but it made no difference, I just kept eating and trying to find the next thing to eat. Until my husband got home, and we put on some food (he had a plan of some snack type bits he had bought in the shop today which is why I was waiting for him).

Of course I’m annoyed with myself now. Well disgusted really. But let’s say annoyed.

But it is done now. All I can do is do better moving forward. I need to get back on track (AGAIN) tomorrow. I need to start exercising properly again. I need to plan my lunches and dinners. I need to make sure I don’t get hungry. I need to be more organised. I need to put myself first, making sure I have healthy food first, and then feed everyone else if that is what happens.

Planning is key here, it shows. Plan my meals and my exercise. And make sure to prioritise them, for myself. And get myself back on track, again. Roll on tomorrow, back on track day 1, again.